All posts by Barbara Ocskai

Medicine Objects, Thoughts About This and That, Workshops

The Missing Link

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What am I called to do?

At this time – I am hearing, feeling, seeing like never before the energetics that holds us all together.  Life, energy, tensions have heightened yet again – it appears to me like the sensation of a spinning top on the verge of careening off the surface of a table.   I am aware of the external energy’s tug and pull.  Yet I remain calm internally, I am grounded in something deeper.

This definitely has not always been the case for me.  I can relate to angst or dread, chaos, discomforts both real and imagined.  Freeing myself  from the frenzied dynamics of the world came to me at a glacial pace – imperceptibly slow at first and now accelerated, just as the glaciers of the world are melting away before our eyes.   Coming to this Medicine Way as been my deliverance toward peace of mind.  Everyone needs to find their own way of course – the ways are many – this way works for me.  I feel supported, guided, uplifted, no longed tangled in the obstacles to my own centeredness.

There is still more to do.  At this time, I am being called to clean up the karma of my past – in this lifetime and in others.  There are amends to make for myself and for my ancestors – reparations and apologies to make that stretch beyond the boundaries of skin or time, culture and species.  There is forgiveness offer.  Forgiveness to receive.   I am the missing link in my lineage.  We are all the missing links.  We are what links the past to the future in our heritage.  We are all connected.  We are all the same energy.

One way forward for me is by connecting into the limitless power of new medicines secreted safely into a Medicine Bag.  Medicine Bags are personal and unique to each of us.  Still, the guidance I am receiving is that we are all being asked to step up our energetic responsibility – clean our closets if you will on all levels – physically, emotionally, spiritually, ancestrally.  By tending to our personal and karmic debt, we make ourselves whole, alleviating our suffering and keep ourselves out of the fray.  Doing our work also creates goodwill enough to share.  Imagine… if there were no more fractures in the mirror that is the external world reflecting back at us.

Saturday, July 19 from noon until 6pm, Soul Proprietor will be offering a workshop day for you to come journey – making new relations and reaffirm old allies that are offering their medicine to support you in your process.  Receive the wisdom with presence of mind and a clear heart.  Stitch your intentions and prayers into a Medicine Bag.   Find what links you here and now, from the past and to the future.

RSVP your intention to join in this workshop by commenting on this post or email barbara@soulproprietor.org.

Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!

 

Moccasins, Thoughts About This and That, Workshops

Light Revolution

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It is true that there is a lot of darkness in the world.  In this  country alone, the homeless population is estimated to upwards of 3.5 million people – half of which are children.  An estimated 38 million people in America are food insecure.  22 young veterans commit suicide every day.  The United States of America isn’t united – the delta between political, philosophical and spiritual beliefs is wide – fear fills the gap.  Chemical poisons are fouling our rivers and drinking water.   The number of countries globally involved in some sort of conflict or war is staggering.  Species of all sorts are in radical decline for a vast number of reasons.   The list is long, easily overwhelming and depressing to think about.

This is why I am constantly called to speak up.  There is light in the world too.  Not just the heart warming clips on the evening news but real live people in our everyday lives that move and inspire us to believe in a  renewed faith that goodness is in the world.

That’s how Toni appeared to me recently.  I was at a bank cash machine when she came up to me and asked me where I got the moccasin I was wearing.   I told her I had made them.  I offered that I could make her a pair.  Trusting me, a total stranger, she gave me $100 cash before she even knew my name or phone number!  Sewing a pair of moccasin for her was much more than meaningful work for me.  Toni showed me that there are people other than myself who still believe in the goodness of a stranger, that the darkness and skepticism that is so pervasive isn’t the sum-total of beliefs.

I realize too, I am open to this sort of exchange with another – light attracts light.  Light also extinguishes the darkness, only taking one person to turn on the light in a darkened room filled with thousands.  It isn’t naiveté, there are solutions to hunger and homelessness.  Use your voice and vote to demand protected and clean water – people over coorporations.  Reach out to those who have served and whose lives have been so fractured by war, lend your helping hands and hearts.  Light is revolutionary – it’s time for a revolution.

Toni3Pilamaya Toni!  Pilamaya!

Soul Proprietor custom fits each moccasin to the individual foot (I traced and measured Toni’s feet in the parking lot). These hand stitched moccasin hug your feet.  I also offer learning workshop, teaching you to sew your own moccasin – scheduled conveniently between us.  I hold any intentions, needs or prayers I am asked to by you while I sew.  Each stitch has the presence of love and light.   Three styles to choose from – how would you like to walk through the day?

 

Thoughts About This and That

Father’s Day

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Gifts from my Father…

Did his love of Sunday drives inspire my wanderlust, a sense of adventure and love of the outdoors?  He took me to see manatee and dolphins, museums, monuments and battlefields, fishing and camping, the Atlantic ocean and National Parks.

My stride and pace as I walk match his.  I have his wry sense of humor but not the gap between his teeth that his smile reveals.  He taught me a sense of propriety, right from  wrong, gifting me with good manners and cleanliness.  Although he loved boiled potatoes and hotdogs with pork n’ beans (ick!) he taught me the value of eating well.  His lessons weren’t always gentle, his bark being worse than his bite, yet he taught me independence, how to treat others, and how to treat myself.  I didn’t inherit his swarthy olive complexion however my fair skin tans beautifully – from his genes no doubt.  We’re both bird-nerds I’m happy to say.

When I was 6, we lived in Brooklyn, New York for a while.  A young man, maybe 20, a stranger invited me to sit on his lap.  I didn’t know the possible danger in that invitation.  Dad saw this, called me to him by my full name (yikes!) sending me hurriedly onto our porch – he then was nose to nose with the stranger talking through gritted teeth in a tone I’d never heard before.  I never saw the young man again.  A Fathers protection, keeping me safe from potential harm – teaching me to be aware – my hero.

I miss my Dad, we live on opposite coasts, and look forward to when I can see him again.  In the meantime, I’m happy with short phone calls talking about nothing in particular, or something with meaning but always with love.  There is so much more I could tell about him, how who I am today is because I have been carried on his shoulders.  I have his lineage and I’m grateful – grateful he’s my Dad.

I love you Dad!

 

Drums, Medicine Objects, Rattles, Thoughts About This and That

Rest, Respite, and Releasing the Density

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Stepping into the forest, the outside world can so easily be shed.  The vibration of the trees slows my thinking and begs for me to be still, stand with them in golden radiant sunlight, let them hold me.

This mighty Western Red Cedar tree is one of many old growth trees along the hike to Dorothy Lake, part of the bounty of the PNW.  My dear friend and I walked the trail up to the lake yesterday, sat in the warmth of the sun with our feet I the cold water – sweet respite!  We come from and practice different traditions yet we are always going in the same direction.  Each time we hike, we talk of the generosity that comes from embracing the light, from shedding the density of fear.  We know it exists, even within us on some levels, flirting with and luring us to old patterns and ways of being.  And still we know the feelings of happiness and peace that we live with every day by not holding onto the fearful places or by getting twisted up in the fear mongering that is so prevalent today.  Life is good.  Resting within the forest is such an incredible boon.   I am so grateful that fear doesn’t rule my life any longer.  That I know in this lifetime I am called to seek the light.  Share it out from an open heart, one of many gifts from the forest.

I am grateful too for the Standing Nation, these beautiful trees who we cannot live without.  They clean up our filth so we have fresh air to breathe!  Om!  Wopila!  They are my friends too, like the sweet companion I hike with – I am grateful!

Says Ted Andrews, “All cedars have a fragrance that is cleansing and protecting.  It has been used in rituals and ceremonies to prepare a person or an area.  Native Americans used it for it’s purification properties.  A staff made from cedar has the energy of protection, and it can open opportunities to heal imbalances of an emotional or astral nature.  Cedar is a tree whose spirit and essence will strengthen and enhance the inner potential of the individual.  This is a tree tied to strong healing energies.  Its energies cleanse the auric field, especially at night while the individual sleeps.  It helps the individual to balance the emotional and mental bodies and can stimulate dream activity, which brings inspiration and calm.”

I use cedar wood in the crafting of rattles and icabu, the hoops of drums and for medicine staffs and talking sticks.

Across my Path

No matter what crosses my path internally or externally, I will keep going this direction, for it is calling and I am willing to met it.                    Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!

 

Thoughts About This and That

Cultivate Gratitude

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What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for Richard.  For Lauren.  For my FOO.  All my family – blood and marriages, chosen ones.  I am grateful for the grace that comes with surrender.  I am grateful for my body, it’s abilities and any pain that comes as my teacher.  I am grateful for an open heart and the joyousness of inclusion.  For all the numerous Circles in find myself in.  For ceremony, in all it’s forms.  For the sights my eyes behold – Mother Earth you are amazing!  And how dynamic the sky is.  For the Crows nest in the Douglas fir above my bedroom window.  And the jewel that is Rufus hummingbird.  For my ancestors who dreamed me here at this time.  I am grateful for spirit guides and guardians.  Always, the Creator.  For the unceasing abundance of life.  For my work in the world.  Rest.  Silence.  I am grateful for true friendships and the kindness of strangers.  For differing opinions.  Trust.  Faith.  Love.  For the many teachers, in all the ways they appear.  For those who serve.  Those who protect.  Giving and receiving love.  The giggles of children.

“Cultivate gratitude and never be too shy to express it.”            Swami Sivananda Radha

I am grateful for courage.  For self-love.  My life.   Wopila!  And so much more.                                                                 Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!

Moms and Kids

Solstice Stones

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The Ceremonialist met for an early Summer Solstice celebration this weekend.  A sunny warm afternoon had the girls in Echo Lake right away looking for tadpole and getting fish nibbles.  While they swam to the other side and back, the moms were able to sink into a little down time, shedding the energy of their city life and allowing for their own energy to ease into the more gentle pace.

After a shared meal (thank you girls for washing the dishes!!) we set about the tradition of some ritual.

An altar had been laid in the yard – a circle of cedar boughs with stones marking the cardinal directions, a stone compass at the center.  A spiral extended out from the compass moving with the direction of the seasons.  We begin in the West, honoring the feminine, the water and offering prayers for all that depends upon the waters.  Some of us made our offerings aloud, some silent.  As we moved around the wheel, we talked of what the autumn holds and of harvest.  In the North we each laid down our tobacco and prayers to the Ancients, the Standing Nation, the dream time and whatever else our hearts hold.  A fire was burning in the East – we made offering for what needs transmuting into new form, blessings for the masculine, the warmth and a welcoming of the light.

Moving on the South we spoke of ancient stone creations built to catch the first light of a summer solstice morning.  We set about constructing our own version of a sun temple with many openings to allow for the sunlight to stream through from where it first comes into the yard at dawn onto a patch of cattails that hold a Red-winged Blackbird nest filled with three fuzzy headed chicks with two very defensive parents.

Solstice Stones 2

Adding more blessings for the sun season, prayers of peace and non-violence, and an abundance of joy when our beautifully balanced Solstice Stones was complete.  Around the wheel we went, back to the West, our circle intact, beautiful sweet voices singing Joni Mitchell’s Circle Games “…and the seasons the go round and round…”.

And what could be better than Shamanic S’mores by the fire as darkness closed gently around us?  We could only think of our time together lasting longer!

The Ceremonialist is an open group of Moms and Kids that gathers monthly to share time and stories, craft and create, explore and relax while learning something of the old ways and something of ourselves.

Pilamaya to the light and the seasons as they go round and round.  Pilamaya to all the Moms and Kids I am blessed with.  Love to you!

Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!

Thoughts About This and That

Two Wolves

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Recently I had a surprising exchange which reminded me of this story I had heard a long time ago.  Then again yesterday, for completely differing reasons, I had the opportunity to retell the story.  I thought I’d share it for as one of my teachers says, “…if three or more people…”.  The Cherokee Elder says in the story we all can use this message in some way – internally, how we are in relationship to ourselves – externally in how we walk in the world or perceive it.  Or for the myriad of reasons I cannot possibly know.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Always, there is more work for me to do personally to wholly embrace myself, to understand and allow with grace (hopefully) whatever another’s belief is in their walk through life.  This story is a beautiful reminder for me to continue on my path and to deepen.

In whatever way you hunger, may this story serve you well.                    Blessings…

Aho Mitakuye Oyasin

Drums, Thoughts About This and That

Drumming in Wild Places

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When I travel, go camping or just get out to the Snohomish River for a walk I more often than not bring a drum along.  Over the years of doing so, I have discovered that the places I go drum the drum.  I hold the the icabu, the drumstick, but it isn’t me that determines the beat.  The river will.  The Pacific ocean certainly did when I was there recently.  The Ancestors do, too.  A stream will send up a gentle voice calling.  Whereas the ocean’s rhythm is forceful and intense matching the immensity of it.  It is often surprising what comes through.  Delightful.  Beautiful.  The drumming connects me deeply to the vibrations of the Earth.

I haven’t had the experience of drumming in a city, on the city street.  I am so curious what this energetic might be.  Have you done this?  Pease share your experience.

Soul Proprietor will be offering a Drum Birthing Workshop this Sunday, June 8th, 10am until complete.  Will you join in?  Birth a drum?  And let it’s voice drum through you?  Take it to the street?  Or wild places?

Email barbara@soulproprietor.org or sign up via a comment on this blog post to state your intention to join allowing me to properly prepare for you.

Looking forward with joy.                             Aho Mitakuye Oyasin!