There are Shamanic technologies of “walking” in the mind, heart and body to “see”, to become aware and find understanding.  In yogic, and a multitude of other traditions, visualizations are an accepted practice for seeing into the body, mind and spirit.  Both of these systems are everyday ingredients in my personal practice and in my teachings – whether it be medicine or yoga.   Seeing, knowing, others as light may be a universal belief.  We are after all the energy of the Universe, we come straight or crooked, from the big bang.  Aren’t we both star dust and clay, born from the unknowable that is the Mystery?  Add to the hydrogen, the nitrogen and the oxygen, the carbon of our bodies and we are the Universe, the Center of the Universe is in each of us.

In my yoga practice yesterday morning, as I rested in child’s pose, into my mind/heart appeared a vision of my dear friend PM-J resting just like me, in child’s pose.  I’ve seen her in this asana many times when we have practiced together.  Suddenly,  I wished to see into her body, into the cells gone awry that I might offer the Light into these cells, healing medicine for her.  I asked my Allies for this guidance, overwhelmed with the want of it, my heart so full.

No.  Not until you accept these two things. 

I am taken by surprise.  What do I need to know?

First, know that she is a wild animal, strong and capable of her own healing and highest good.

Of course, ok, I accept this as truth.  I know her to be strong, capable.  I am aware of the power within us.  I know too that we humans despite our civilization, are exactly that – a mammalian species on this planet.  That’s easy enough.  And?

Release attachment to outcome. 

Tears are overflowing my closed eyes.  I squeeze them tight wanting desperately to resist!

“Outwardly it seems like fire and vengeance.  Inwardly, it’s purifying waters.”  Brother Phil

I cried knowing that I know nothing of a greater plan.  I know what I what things to look like, how I want things to be, little me.  I want my friend be healthy, happy and whole.  And I know the cycles of life, death and rebirth.  Gradually I surrender and submit.  I know that I must trust absolutely in her soul path.  In mine.  Without warning, more comes forward – completely unrelated to my friend – that I must sort through and acknowledge, seeing the pain and ugliness, finding my way to forgiveness.  Forgiving perpetrators, forgiving my own judgments.

Forgiveness is good work, they tell me

With these admissions comes the image of my sweet friend, though I see her standing,  no longer in child’s pose.  I can see her clearly in my mind’s eye, she is facing me.  I see the room we have practiced in together, kitchen at her back, encouraging words and happy pictures on the refrigerator.

Now they allow me to see her filled with light.  Light comes in on her right side, my left, top to bottom, bottom to top –  simultaneously as though a big hand waved it into her in one gentle motion until her body is full.  She is luminous, filled with Light.  I ask again.  May I see the cells she so bravely confronts each day?  Will you allow me to now?  Before my mind can fully comprehend the sight of these rogue cells, the Divine encircles them in golden light, wraps them up fully they merge and fuse into Light.  Gratitude wells up in me as I see her flourishing in the Light.  I hold this image a long while.

I rise up from my mat, whipping tears puddled where my face had been.  I stand up straight, grounding into Tadasana, the mountain, standing still going nowhere.  Opening my eyes, I still see her a vision before me.  As always, she is smiling – impeccable, unyielding, capable and strong.

I am deeply grateful for these ways and for the medicine of the Divine Light, for the Mystery.  Grateful for the power of prayers.  Grateful for the love of my brilliant luminous friend PM-J.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations



One thought on “PM-J”

  1. PM-J has an amazing circle of prayer warriors and friends all pulling together to raise the energies of healing light and love. Two days after this post experience I received word from her that her markers had dropped from 182 to 75 with a goal of under 25 (and ultimate good health). I am so thrilled and deeply grateful. Grateful too for all those who are keeping her wellbeing in the forefront of their thoughts and heart, ever in their prayers. I am honored to be among them.

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