What If I Surrender?

What would that look like?




Yesterday morning before grocery shopping for our camp kitchen, I had a strong need to be on the earth. To be outside and make my prayers.  Early tomorrow morning we meet in ceremony.  Greeting the trees, I am distracted from my purpose. The Star Magnolia (she’s awesome!) is filled with spider webs glistening in the sunlight and buoyant in the breeze, at the center of each a Spider.  As I look over the tree at the many webs I discover a web under construction.  What a marvelous mesmerizing gift watching a Garden Spider weave her home and source of sustenance.  I notice how she adjusts her body to the variances of the arch of her circle.  Her diligence of purpose.  The way she creates.  I see her footing slip in the breeze causing a mistake (?) in the web’s form.  It doesn’t slow her down in the least.  She tacks and returns to the direction she wants to go.  Her medicine teaches me resilience.  To move forward.  Leave the past behind.  Choose where I want to go.  Stay focused.  To be at my center and source within.  And Go! make your ties, get moving, there is much to do!  Indeed. I go sit in the only green place in the yard, shaded by the Monster.  I make my prayers, they feel powerful, witnessed by more tiny spiders crawling all about me, chartreuse and pale yellow-white.  Spider power!  Gratefully, shopping took the rest of the day so I ordered pizza.  The delivery person helped me carry my new cooler (*which doesn’t fit in my trunk! doh!) into the house.  (too big and too heavy!)  Allow for help.  Surrender to a new limitation, another lesson.

In my yoga practice this morning Adho Mukha Svanasana invites me to submit.  I do.  Surrendering.  What am I holding?  Where?  Let go of story.  Come into alignment with my heart.  Release.  Soften.  Mind my mouth, no tension there.  I feel a healing in my throat.  Pilamaya!

Humbly.  I have a burning question.  Why is the human species so violent?  I heard Jerry Jampolsky speak on the Summer of Peace saying, “Why is a victim’s question that keeps us in our suffering.  Surrender, it is happening for a reason.”  Well crap!  If I had a nickel for every time I asked why, why, why.  What if I surrender to this question and just go pack and make ready for camp?  What if I surrender and trust?  Trust = Happy Heart!  That’s what!

Allow.  Soften.  Trust.  A good way to walk into ceremony.  This is my vision quest.

In gratitude for the People who have come before to show us this way, for the patterns and agreements laid down over time.  Pilamaya for this ceremony.  For the Circle coming together in this way.  For all Nations who will greet us on the land, for our Mother Earth.  Our prayers.

I offer prayers for the Salmon Nation who are struggling at this time.  For the Water.  Water is life.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

(*thankfully my best friend Scott loaned me his truck!)(allowing)(again!)



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