All posts by Barbara Ocskai

Meeting the Mystery

I didn’t seek a vision quest. One sought me.

“Our demons are our own limitations, which shut us off from the realization of the ubiquity of the spirit, each of these demons is conquered in a vision quest.”  ~ Joseph Campbell

I’ve been told that this ceremony is one that will bring up my fears. I’m not a particularly fearful person, however, I am a deeply feeling woman. And… if it isn’t love, it’s fear… a phrase I’ve heard often. Believing this to be true, I have no choice but to sink farther into what it is I am feeling. Flipping the feelings over and over to see what’s beneath the surface. How many layers are there before I find fear? Eventually. There it is.

I’ve been told also, this time of inquiry and lead up to ceremony is to empty out. Then I can meet the Mystery, Creator, God, the Universe, Great Spirit – whatever – and be filled back up.

Am I empty? Yet?

All My Relations




Look Both Ways

Surely you’ve got your tried and true tools for your shamanic journeys, your private, public practices. I do. And I am asking again, to deepen, who am I now? What can I honor about myself on my path and quest to be my best self? Where do I lack integrity? How can I grow, mature into the life that I’ve been born into?

Are you sitting with big questions too?

While I have trusted allies that are constant in my life, there are always new discoveries to make. Medicine is so vast. Perhaps there is something right in front of my nose that I am missing or so well hidden, it’s never been touched to heal. What medicine can I draw upon? Who will be the crossing guard to usher my next steps?

Are all your needs being met? Is it time to refresh, reboot, reenergize? I’d be honored to hold a sacred container for you to recharge within. A new rattle’s voice, reaching in… a gentler or more robust drumbeat resonating with your current heart… medicine for your daily bag…  Gift yourself (or another) a personal day for whatever your needs, make new relations, jump into the river of surprise, manifest your next steps. Medicine is a revealer and a healer.

I’m strengthening in service to the medicine that comes forward for me as well as learning. Reciprocity is vital. A beautiful Circle. I love the exploration, engaging and working with, and honoring the medicine with my presence. I give little gifts of flowers to Grandmother Buffalo, tobacco offerings and good smudges, black coffee sweet for my Constant Companion. I tell the Earth I love her all the time. I’m thankful.

It’s a good day to be alive. Many blessings to you and yours.

All My Relations


Heart Cartography

I have an Atlas of the World. A heavy tabletop volume. A beautiful but very fragile 1927 Atlas. Two US Road Atlas, bound and spiral additions. A multitude of Forest Service maps. Hiking guides, North America and Europe, two shelves full.

Likewise with the yoga books – student and teacher – two shelves.

I’d love to see the earth, the whole world over. See all her remaining wild places, ancient, and sacred. I’ve turned the pages of these books countless times exploring. Opened and folded the maps many times. My vitality rises with Earth-embrace.

Ancient. Yoga. Eastern tradition. Yoga introduced me to my mind and body, my breath. Leading me like a roadmap, consciously.

Medicine ways. Ceremony. East meets West, if you will, on my journey. These ways have been the passageway to my heart, the ultimate guidance to bring me home. Whole. This requires everything and nothing at the same time. It makes me so glad to be alive. Unlike anything else. My heart is so full the Hummingbirds recognize me!

“In order to change the world, we have to touch your heart.”                    ~LaDonna Tamakawastewin Allard

Envisioning All of Humanity leading with Our Hearts, spiritually awakened, One with All Our Relations… Peace.

All My Relations


The Last of Lyjse

The last of Lyjse’s hair called to be in a rattle. Of course. I listen to the medicine, it tells me what is needed. Still a grief settled in, a deep sadness. Grieve good, VGH said once. I settled in too, grief is needed.

Holding. The. Grief.

Grief took me beyond the horse hair to the insect bore on the fir handle. The river of surprise. A new prayer that isn’t grief, but none the less a healer. I have so much gratitude for the ways of medicine.

Blessing from the Four Directions, Above and Below, from my heart.

All My Relations



I have struggled to write, this is on my heart today

Heron fished the river banks this morning. The second of an anticipated 4 oil trains, daily average, has passed in front of my house.  Miss Cat sleeps in the warmth of the sun. The Standing Rock Sioux and nearly 90 other tribes are standing in solidarity for their rights. Many others are there to support, take part in this act of prayer and song, to protect the water, the land, their sacred sites. I want to go there. They are peaceful yet the officials feel threatened. The cape primrose is blooming again. Bill Spaulding did you fertilized the hell out them? LOL! Oak Flat still needs saving. All over this country there is cause to defend human rights. Good people are doing so. Wopila! The turtle doves’ coo and my heart smiles. 247 dead in Italy. Saudi Arabia is an ally? Really? There is tension in my body. Chickadee. Still 2 feet of standing flood water in people’s homes in Louisiana. The morning is blessedly light, cool. Steller’s jay. Another train, this one with Boeing fuselage. The oil trains are typically twice as  long as the average train. Digging in. Doubling down like the loggers who were called to halt clear cutting Redwood forests – saws ran day and night to cut as much as possible before the deadline to stop. Happy skydivers are descending above me. The ice is melting. Perhaps we need not protect anything since  Maka will tend to this business herself, on her own deadline. Cottonwood whisper a breezy secret. I’m listening for their beauty, seeing so much beauty. As modern thinking man, woman, the ones with big brains and opposable thumbs – we’ve been short sided in our hast to conquer the world, with little, if any, consideration for the next generations. Violence escalates. Every violent act seems met with violent response. How can I be non-violent, at peace of mind and heart? Not participate, not escalate the violence? What buttons get pushed in me with this greed and injustice? Honey salve. Self-love. Heal myself. I send up prayers on the smoke, make ties. Barking dogs on Maple Avenue. They always seem angry. Happily, I walk on the other side of the street to give them their space, they eave me be. Randomly, my neighbor gifted me safety glasses. I am protected. Om Namah Sivaya! Thank you Creator for my life! For my son’s wellbeing and happy heart, for All My Relations of All Nations. I get to  see a hero of mine in the flesh today! I hope I get to shake his hand. Wopila and thanksgiving!  OM

Escalate Peace


Morning Glory

“Good Morning! Glory!”!  It is a sweet memory to recall my mom’s singsong voice, waking me to each new day. “Good Morning! Glory!”

Good Morning Everyone ~

Snohomish is wild and wonderfully overgrown with white Morning Glory. It’s everywhere. It seems that not even the tamed and tended gardens are free of it. Morning Glory is a messenger encouraging me to break free of old habits, to be more creative, dare to live spontaneously, and to keep blooming anew day after day. Morning Glory wakes with the dawn, then exhausted it languishes as the sun disappears on western horizon – a full circle, a ceremony in each day. Pure white and funnel shaped, the flower is symbolic of both drawing energies in and sending energies out – how will I be in community now? What will I learn of myself? What can I offer? Can I receive? The heart-shaped leaves ask me if am I grounded in my body? In my body, the heart is allowed to lead, the mind can follow. The stretch of the many vining tendrils remind me to embrace what life has to offer, to express myself fully. Am I? Morning Glory connects me to the wealth of my inner reservoir where I acknowledge myself and honor Source.

“My life is my message.”  ~  Mahatma Gandhi

By experiencing the natural world as our messengers, we can see from a fresh perspective – with medicine eyes and a medicine heart.  An old yet new way of being human, in alignment with creation.

Offering workshops, circles, and mentorship throughout the summer season. I look forward to sharing time with you. Until then, I bid you all a glorious morning, noon, and night, and beautiful strides in the South.

All My Relations

Spiral Dance

Life is one great big learning curve.  A spiral dance.

“Energy moves in cycles, circles, spirals, vortexes, whirls, pulsations, waves, and rhythms—rarely if ever in simple straight lines.” ~ Starhawk

I caught myself in fear. Unraveling the tangled thread of it I found judgment, which showed me clearly that even in the kindness of giving a gift fear can have ugly hooks.

It’s the odd thing that sticks in ones psyche that prevents peace in the heart and creates fear and story in the mind.  Tis the case with me anyway.  Medicine work is always my teacher. It seems the New Ones coming in at this time are Sages or Wisdom Keepers, knowing so much more than me – again bringing me a lesson as I prepared to stitch baby moccasin, inviting me to examine and understand myself more fully, to be more self-aware and to see plainly another layer in the spiraling learning curve of my life.

An aside, my Guides have been talking with me. They are saying, It is the time of Peace KeepingIt’s time now to hold the vision of the Green Grass Walk in bare feet. The Green Grass Walk is a time of Peace Keeping. Even as I write that I feel it as a Circle.  I am, we are I believe on a Peace Keeping mission.  To be at peace in our hearts, to spiritually awaken to the presence of peace, rekindling our rhythm and relationship to our Earth Mother, to attune to a higher vibration. Peace movements are happening all around the globe. I am gratefully holding this vision, the visceral sensation of bare feet walking on green grass.

Peace. Peace. Peace my Sisters and Brothers. Peace.

Mitakuye Oyasin  ~  All My Relations

Blessing For The Senses

Blessing For The Senses 

May your body be blessed.
 May you realize
 that your body is a
 faithful and beautiful
 friend of your soul.
 And may you be
 peaceful and joyful
 and recognize that your senses
 are sacred thresholds.
 May you realize
 that holiness
 is mindful, gazing,
 feeling, hearing, and touching.
 May your senses
 gather you and bring you home.
 May your senses
 always enable you
 to celebrate the
 universe and the
 mystery and possibilities
 in your presence here.
 May the Eros of the
 Earth bless you.
  Excerpt from Anam Cara by John O’Donohue

Image: The Art of the Human Body Sciforums